Husbands... grrr..

My husband can help all he wants. He can serve me my food on a gold platter or give me my every desire all he wants. I have no problam with me sitting on my butt all day sleeping or watching tv.
But what really irritates me is when I deside I dont want to live in a pig sty so i decide to help out a little. I asked for a couple days for him to do the dishes.... he was to busy to do them... playing those games on myspace and trying to get in my pants!!
I decide fine I wont get pissed I will just do them myself its cool. I'm in the kitchen anyway. So I open the dish washer..... Now I have like an OCD thing when I do dishes... we all do the dish washer our own way but...
so i see the dish washer and i am getting pissed. There are still dishes in there that should have been washed and put away all ready. It has all been put in the dish washer wrong. So I have to take everything out and put it back in the way I have to have my dishwasher! I get it all done...
Then I relize trash needs to be taken out.. Its over flowing... I asked him to take it out days ago kinda like the dishes.. so i decide i will sweep and mop the floors to. He comes home for his lunch break all sweaty and smelly.. and hungry.
OH CRAP!! He runs into the kitchen and re heats the hotdogs from last night and dirties my clean swept kitchen floor, and crumbs on my counter.. I thought i just did dishes hello. Then he tries to check his mail and gets the on button jammed so he and i have to take it apart . Of course I know how to take it apart and fix it fast and easy. But he has to be all manely and do it the hard way by shutting everything off and unplugging everything. We get it fixed...but even more happened yesterday.
HOUSTON HE BROKE THE TOLIET SEAT!! My husband has knee problems and sometimes the lock and he goes down! So yesterday afternoon, he got up to go to the bathroom. Apparently his knee locked, he went down and hit his head on the toliet. Not knowing that he broke the seat, he goes back to the daily routine.. NOT TELLING ME ABOUT THIS! I end up answering natures call. So I sit down and nearly go flying into the trash and cabnet because the seat is broke!
Not the best day for me I must say. The screw to fix the toliet seat is broke. We have no super glue. The computer power button is permantly going to get stuck till it can be fixed. The whole house needs a good cleaning. Running out of food I still need to call the hospital for a payment plan. I have $1.71 to my name untill my husband gets paid thursday. He thinks hes so good at penny pinching when hes not. He bought oreos yesterday when we could have used that money for something else. I send him to the store for choclate syrup he comes back with oreo's and syrup and energy drinks and whatever... its really pissing me off but i dont know how to tell him I dont like his spending habits or the way hes smoking all the ciggarettes! I smoke to asshole!
he does laundrey dumps it on the floor grabs what he needs for work and leaves the rest scattered on the floor for me to fold.. Happy fu*king fourth of july people... somebody give me a gun and 2 bullets in case i miss my head and it starts takeing to long for me to die. aahhhhhhhhh... Husbands!! How come the women of the world just dont take over and put all the men in an underground lair and only use them for reproduction and heavy lifting? sounds like a plan to me... Today my husband can sleep on the fricken floor. Ha Ha sucker thats what you get for not paying attention to me!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHA.